This report is written by the Covid In-Custody Project — an independent journalism project that partners with the Davis Vanguard to bring reporting on the pandemic in California’s county jails and Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation (CDCR) to the public eye. Refer to our website to view and download the raw data.
By Koda Slingluff
In the midst of lockdowns, fear and wide-spread illness, an incarcerated woman at Central California Women’s Facility in Chowchilla has found an outlet in poetry, and she has generously shared some of her work with the Covid In-Custody Project for publication.
30-year-old Aycee Cynthia, a mother of two, has been writing since the age of 6. She dreams to “impact others in a positive way through [her] words.” Her poems “Metamorphosis” and “Criminal vs Human” have been published in prison-related magazines.
Cynthia resides in the largest female correctional institution in CA, with a population of 2,069 at the time Cynthia sent these poems. A massive outbreak of COVID-19 swept the facility in early January 2021, with more than 1 in 4 incarcerated people infected. As of July 2022, the population is now 2,178 – more than 9% over the institution’s design capacity.
Cynthia shared five poems that describe the isolation of solitary-confinement- style quarantines, the ever-present threat of COVID-19 infection and the fear of losing loved ones to the virus.
Metamorphosis
Unknown, the world wonders
What can be in times of departure
Unexpected from the familiar
The stripping force
Out of element
Hear them cry in storms of dread
Cocoons weave across naked bodies
Hidden in secret
For treasure to form in blackness
And covered with mercy’s gold
Lullabies are sung
Over cradles gently rocked
Another arrival
For what to become
In the break of strongholds
Like the breath of new spring
No hell shall conquer the fields of green
Through dancing breeze
Fly away
Where the rest of sleep is unrelated to death
Illusions of Reality
Freedom fighter
The searing pain of hunger beneath my bosom
Cries out for cool hands
To iron wrinkles smooth on my forehead
Send a message
That I’m still here
Standing against tricks in mirrors
For the love of my land
Stripped of security
I can hear you clearly
As the wind whispers
“Fear is only true to itself.”
Humbly I ask
The desires of my heart
End the drought and famine
Even my mind with the kiss of a dive
Rippling sensations throughout my being
As I lay me down to sleep
Dreaming to fly
Approach the gateway
And see my name spelled out in heaven
Sojourner’s Lamentation
Tall tales were made to believe
Evil has conquered
With no way out
I am a prisoner
In steel cocoon
Covering my soul
Goodnight to the sun
For my starving bones
They don’t show loyalty anymore
They don’t rebuild broken hearts
All they have are barren walls
And screams
All they have are barren walls
And screams
Split rivers open
Swallow the thirst
I drown in my own ocean
I am a prisoner
Crime does not pay
Education is the jingle in pockets
The price to set me free
Is to slave for the dollar
I ask for a prayer
My integrity viewed in the eyes of the Lord
See time hand out faith
A bodyguard demanding
I rise like dawn
Carry the Cocoon
An armor
And blask the walls like Jericho
The chance to walk away
Realities of freedom
Now fulfilled in the house of exile
Criminal vs. Human
Am I not human?
I raise my voice to protest
My rights are violated, I contest
But you jest at my request
Because I am a criminal
I broke the rule
The fuel for you to be cruel
With badges shining like a jewel
A tool to make me look like a fool
In what is alleged to be justice
Am I not human?
Why do you ignore my cry?
I’m in need but you deny
Lie, saying I defy to comply
Because I am a criminal
Scum under your shoe
Crushed beneath you
If they knew, had a little clue
The things you do
Greatly should you rue
Am I not human?
I bleed the same
Carry a name
Yet in my shame I am maimed
By your game to tame
And claim I am to blame
Because I am a criminal
Who committed ill
Chill and swill the pill
To kill my only will
Forced to become nil
Because no, I am not human…
Indeed, just a criminal
Growing Pains
As answers wait to be sought
I hold a revival
For frost consumed slowly
Desperate to salvage leftovers
Illustrations telling
What once was
Upon a time
When night sat silent
Eager to become
Unclasp and release
Becoming means to be
Infinite as wind for living soul
I am deep
As answers wait to be sought
And spit me up from earth’s womb
